Two comments and a private message on my “Brief Guide” post got me thinking about gendered language. Specifically the title of that piece, which used the word “douchy.” (And should it have been douchey? I still don’t know.) The second of those comments lead me here when I quite enjoyed reading.
The argument is that since douching, and therefore douche bags, are a feminine activity the insult in calling someone a douche, a douche bag, or saying they are douchy (I’m sticking with that spelling until the AP makes a call) is in feminizing them. Many others have argued that since we all now know that douching is – at best – pointless for hygiene the insult is that you’re telling the person they’re useless, possibly dangerous, and don’t belong anywhere near a woman’s vagina.
I can definitely see both sides of this argument, and I do my best to change how I use language when I realize the significance of my word choices. (I’m trying like hell to stop saying things I dislike are “lame,” for instance.) What makes this one interesting is that there does seem to be a real disagreement about this particular group of words. I know a lot of smart, feminist women who employ the d-word fairly often when referring to some “extra classy” dudes and their actions. I honestly never gave it any thought before this week, but now I think I should.
How about you folks? Most of you are smart, savvy people. You’re hip, you get it. You know what all the young kids are doing. What are your thoughts on calling jerky dudes douches?
Sasha's Old Den of Iniquity 
Interesting points. However, they’ll have to pry the term “dbag” out of my cold dead hands as it’s just too good to let go. Especially for Tom Cruise.
Thanks for taking the point into consideration. If anything it points out how fuzzy the line of sexist/non-sexist can be.
Words change
Meanings change
But one thing, I know
Will never change
Griping about others’ speech
The think is WORDS MATTER. It’s important that we think about the significance of the words we use. This isn’t just postmodernist wanking I’m engaging in.
Love the Tom Cruise Pic! I’ve never considered the term “douche” to be a feminizing one since most people with the douche label are what I’d classify as “hyper-males.” The only stereotypically feminine thing about douche-bags is the obsession with their appearance.
The most sexist connotation I can think of by calling someone a douche-bag is “you smell like diluted vagina filth,” which I’m not sure is much better or worse than saying someone smells like balls.
Honestly though, the original intent has gotten so lost that I’d wager many people don’t even know what a real douche is. Couple that with how bad actual douches are for women’s health and I see about zero problem with continuing to use it.
yep and I heard plenty of guys trying to justify their use of the term “bitch” (if directed at a man) is not a sexist feminizing term but rather calling him a female dog*…please get real.
I would like to point you toward a statement from the previous post. “Just because one or two women tell you that you’re in the right doesn’t mean you didn’t offend some, or most, of the women present.”
I would ad that just because you hear some women use the term doesnt automatically make it non-offensive coming from your lips
Im not trying to be the word police. I think we should be able to used profane and taboo words as we choose but how we talk & act toward others is important when talking about building a cohesive skeptics movement and creating an inviting and safe environment for people who for social reason may feel less than comfortable at skeptic events.
*ignoring the de-humanization & speciesism in that context
Sashs, I think you answered your own question with this statement: “Many others have argued that since we all now know that douching is – at best – pointless for hygiene the insult is that you’re telling the person they’re useless, possibly dangerous, and don’t belong anywhere near a woman’s vagina.”
Typically, when I refer to someone as a douche, it’s someone who probably doesn’t belong anywhere near my vagina.